let me just tell you this, and you random, friendly strangers may pass it on to my family, friends, and acquaintances should the situation ever arise.
i am smart enough not to go poking about in places like iraq, afghanistan, pakistan, and other countries where i may become a hostage just because i am canadian. even if i were inclined to go about doing selfess, charitable things, even if i made my living as a reporter, even if (Insert Other Reason Here), i both value my life and respect the insanity of the particular breed of wackos kicking about in those parts enough that you will never find me over there. you would have to kidnap me here, and ship me over there, to get me on hostage-taking soil.
if i ever decided to take it upon myself to do something selfless, charitable, or just plain ignorant of my own safety, it would be under complete understanding that if and when the lunatic fringe of the month kidnapped me, blindfolded me, stuck me in front of a hi-8 with a gun to my head and made me plead for my life, it would be no one's responsibility to get me out of there. in other words, if i were to take my life in my hands by going to a dangerous fucking place, i do not expect the canadian government, the church (anyone's church), the united nations, or anyone else to barter, bargain, acquiesce, or otherwise give something over in order to free me. i'm sorry that nice american girl is being held prisoner and will probably die over there, but she went there. no matter what her goal was, she willingly went to a country she knew, or should have known, was just as likely to cause her death as anything. the people who are saying the government has to do something to get her out all need a slap upside the head. the government isn't responsible for her. if they do anything in return for her safety, it's just more encouragement for the nutjobs to kidnap some more people. look how often it happens even tho' they don't get what they want! imagine if they *got* something for it! that's like refusing to give your kid what they want when they hold their breath and turn blue. if you decide that one day you just can't handle it and you're going to give them something in bribery, you've just opened a big old ugly door. every single time you held your ground in the past means NOTHING.
so, remember this. if i ever decide to pack myself off to a war zone, the only person who can be blamed if i end up dead is me. don't give 'em anything. even if i bawl and slobber and simper and say otherwise when the knife is at my throat. you can all put my picture on tv and pray for me and wish on stars and cast spells and do what you do, but don't blame the government for not releasing pow's or handing over a suitcase full of non-sequential bills or whatever it is the crazies in question want. it's not their problem.
*delicately shoves soapbox back into the corner*
on a less serious and less government-friendly note, if this fucking twit michael shapcott doesn't stop littering my building and my hallway and my apartment doorstep with his propaganda, i swear i will hold him down and cover his bald head in chia-pet seeds. *every*day* i come home to more of his crap. note to aspiring politicians - your flyers and your cards and your pamphlets and your other assorted crap does not encourage anyone to vote for you. it might, in fact, just make some people vote for anyone BUT you, because they are tired of your garbage all over the lobby.
*rethinks putting away soapbox, drags it back out. loudly.*
furthermore, you're all losers and i wouldn't vote for any of you. i would like to vote, truly, so don't give me your crap about how i can't complain if i don't vote and all that garbage. i CAN complain. i can complain that there is no one on my television who is not full of shit or despicable to one extreme or the other. i agree that the party in power has done some bad bad things, but i don't like anyone who wants to reverse the right to gay marriage, because that's ignorant and closed-minded (btw, am i understanding the headlines correctly? do we actually have a gay mp? i heard he was rushing up his wedding date because he was afraid the tories would win and he wouldn't be able to get married). they're all liars and phonies and crooked, as my mother would say, as a broken nose. they just pull the money in different directions. this one will put money into healthcare and bankrupt the education system. that one will put money into education and put people out of the streets because they've lost their jobs in every other sector. blah blah blah. voting is choosing the lesser of the available evils. i don't feel inclined to support that sort of choice. we ought to ban all the current politicians and their respective parties, form some new ones (no previous political ties and/or associations allowed, just regular, halfway intelligent people) and start over.
what would happen if, in some sort of protest, NO ONE voted? not one ballot turned in. would that send the message that we hate all of them? that they should all be fired (who would fire them? the deposed prime minister?) and we need a do-over? or would they (more likely) just assume they can throw a big party in the house of commons with hookers and whiskey and private leafs/habs games (they'd have to build an indoor rink, which i'm sure they could swing, with no one keeping an eye on the treasury), and stop pretending they're doing any work in there, so who cares who's in charge? take turns on a rotating basis! one week of the year with the special 'leader' party hat on for every seat your party holds (or held, prior to the non-vote)!
quite frankly, the only person i'd vote for would be myself. i should run for office. but i'm fucking lazy, and i don't have a rich family to back me up. so i will continue to hope that the country has a political revolution without me.
one more thing. no, i swear, only one. it's all the fault of having the television on while sitting at the computer.
the karla homolka movie.
i was growing up when her and bernardo were running amuck. i was only a couple of years younger than leslie mahaffy when they chopped her up, put her body parts in cement and threw them in the lake. i was just at the age where my mother's constant nattering about missing kids began to sink in, when i realized what could happen to me if some lunatic snatched me off the street. it was disturbing. besides that, the details of the whole thing were just seriously gross. i mean nightmare-worthy.
when i heard they were making a movie about it, i was horrified. i thought it was gross and horrible and disrespectful to these three dead girls and their families (one of which also has to claim the killer as a child). i didn't know who would want to make a movie like that or why it wasn't being stopped.
then i realized something, which is, of course, that it's not the first time a movie was made about a real-life serial killer. there's a whole series of straight-to-video ones that we have at work, about bundy and gein and dahmer and gacy. you can even order them in a box set! there's a movie about the hillside strangler, there's summer of sam, and probably ten other more major films that i can't come up with. so if those were okay, what's different about this one?
don't get me wrong, i still think it's offensive (i can't believe i'm using that word) and shouldn't have been made. i guess i just wonder why we're so upset about *this* one, and not any of the others. i know people are afraid that it makes her out to be the victim (poor innocent abused wife! she just *had* to go along with it all and kill her sister, he was too big and mean and scary!) or that it makes her look good somehow, which no one wants, but hell, she got away with it in court already. she's been released. she's free and clear. they even revoked the restrictions on her because they weren't *fair*. (poor thing, having to prove she's not socializing with other disgusting revolting criminals, having to warn the province when she plans on travelling, having to stay away from minors!) she's so fucking free and clear she can go and see the goddamn movie herself. what good or bad would it do if she's painted as innocent, or if she's painted as the psychotic bitch we all know she is? it's all a lost cause, in that respect. it's a b-movie anyway, as far as i understand. she's already as infamous as she's going to get. it's not like oprah's inviting her to come on and tell her sob story. the best thing that could be done is to totally, completely, utterly ignore the entire thing. people argued and complained and protested, but the movie still got made, so it's too late now. rather than continuing to stir it up, we should just turn away.
that is quite enough serious thought for tonight. i'm going to find something braindead to do for a while.