i smacked my head on a bar cable on friday night. for those of you who don't know, a cable is a piece of wire about an inch in diameter, bolted to the floor on four sides to hold the bars up. obviously, it holds the bar up by tension, so it's essentially like a strip of metal with a tiny bit of give. gymnasts (and coaches) smack their legs off of them and wrap their toes around them all the time when they're not looking where they're going. this is par for the course. what is not par for the course is reaching over to grab a spotting block while trying to build an adequate cast-to-handstand station out of insufficient materials, and being so damn preoccupied with how to set it up that you lift your head straight into the fucking cable.
i look like i've had a drunken encounter with a fucking streetlamp or something, maybe even the sidewalk. there's a red welt across the bridge of my noise with a nice little furrow where the cable sawed neatly into my flesh.
why can't i hurt myself in silly, insignificant, normal ways? ways that don't display their aftereffects to everyone? cuz it's not like i can do anything to disguise the big red mark on my face. couldn't i bruise my shin or something like NORMAL PEOPLE do?
so i worked all weekend with this mark on my face. i didn't exactly forget about it because it hurts everytime i alter my facial expression, but it was still a shock every time i passed by a mirror. ("jesus christ, am i really out in public like this?!")
i was planning on going to hand out a few resumes this morning, but when i went into the bathroom i realized that it was probably not the best plan, considering that i look like i have some sort of skin-eating disease, what with my zits breeding gleefully with one another like it's puberty all over again, plus this gash on my nose. i don't know that i would want to considering hiring me, in my condition.
but i bloody well better find someone who wants to hire me soon, for something, anything. i have got to get some money put together, and the clock is ticking like a time bomb. i fucking hate carolyn for doing this to me.