much aggrieved at the fact that i missed - by one day! - buying the entertainment weekly mag that i had fawned over at work (the one with hayden christensen on the cover, aka the boy with lips too beautiful to play a villain), which was to be my treat to myself for not having a colossal breakdown this month, i instead found myself a copy of rolling stone with a fantabulous orlando bloom on the cover. adequate consolation, methinks.
of course, i spent the first five minutes squealing over the big photo - no, not over him, but over his dog, hanging around his neck. gorgeous doggie! of course, all dogs are gorgeous. this is where humans fall short. every dog is beautiful, but how many guys look like orlando bloom? hmmm.
so, i had my allergy test. i am allergic to cats. BWAHAHAHAHA! and dogs. tee hee! and horses. snicker! and while i am not allergic to rabbits, i am severely allergic to the timothy hay that they eat. LOL!
the allergist was a lovely middle-aged british guy who promptly told me to pack up the animals and ship them off, then looked at me and said, "oh, i know, you'll do no such thing. but you must try to keep them out of your bedroom!"
i am also severely allergic to plain old grass. i don't know what the hell one is supposed to do about that - pave the backyard? meh.
for the record, i came home and stuck my face in both the cat and the dog's backs and smushed it all around, getting a good whiff of fur and dander, and let it all settle in ... and no reaction was to be had. i may be reacting to the timmy grass, but otherwise i think it's just too much hair in too small a space. so i have resolved to do more cleaning. what else are you going to do?
i am, however, chained to an inhaler - a new one, to be taken regularly, along with the old ventalin one. yes, more drugs for me. i am a veritable chemists' chest of medication, at this point.
amusingly, and sort of gratifying in a miserable way, was him observing that my right-hand nasal passage appeared more blocked than the left.
"yeah, i broke my nose a few years ago, and by the time the emergency doctor saw me, it had sat for hours and they refused to reset it."
"really? what did dr (crazy lady) say?"
"she sent me to a plastic surgeon, and he told me there was nothing wrong with it. then he went on and on about how he wanted to reconstruct the tip of my nose cuz it didn't point the right way, and something about the bump in the bridge."
"well, there most certainly is something wrong with it. you've got about fifty percent of the capacity in one side as you have in the other. as to the outside of it, it looks fine to me."
just a little proof, in case you're ever wondering, that plastic surgeons are generally idiots.